So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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