If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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