i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
