Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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