I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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