He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
