Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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