never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
