i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
