ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need a beard to bite.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
