Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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