I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
