I hope mine doesn't look like that
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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