Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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