I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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