I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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