i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
