I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
