Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
