from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
should my penis look like a turkey
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
