she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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