If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize