He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
