Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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