i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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