No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
