i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress