Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
