at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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