a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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