fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
