i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
