overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
