I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
