ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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