Plan B is the new Plan A
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
