if i can run in heels then i can drive
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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