I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
