i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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