yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I look better un-naked...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
