I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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