Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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