Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
