Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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