Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Never joke about your clitoris.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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