Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
