Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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