That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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