We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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