tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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