i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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