My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize