Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
