Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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