i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
