he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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