there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
