Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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