whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
