OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
