Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
