I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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