She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
