Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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