He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
