question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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