Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We had to coat check the pizza.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Terrible idea I love it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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