Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
