I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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