Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
