I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
