ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
