So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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