I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
