The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
