It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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