i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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