i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
