So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
